Bullying
My son was bullied for most of primary school. I could say it’s because he was one of a few black kids in the school or that kids are just mean. The truth is I don’t know. The principal at the time was no help at all and even tried to blame my son. He did nothing to support him. Eventually, he retired (thank God) and was replaced by an amazing woman who understood what being a principal really meant.
So what do you do when your child is being bullied? Don’t resort to violence or suggest your child do the same. In most cases, the bully has issues at home or was traumatized by the behavior of an adult in his/her life.
First, reach out for help. Try to arrange a meeting with the parents of that child. Then begin the reconciliation process between the bully and your child. That’s what the new principal did. She had them connect almost every day in the computer lab where they collaborated and finally became friends.
The bullying can be stopped but you also have to be aware and ready to advocate for your child.
These are great resources on what to do.
What to do when your child is being bullied
Bullying Canada
See below for statistics.
Bullying statistics
bullyingstatistics.org reports that there are 4400 suicides per year.
– Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people according to the CDC.
– According to statistics reported by ABC News 30% of students are either bullies or victims of bullying.
– Yale University A study in Britain reported at least 1/2 of suicides among young people are related to bullying 10 to 14 year old girls who may be at higher risk for suicide.
– 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of the fear of bullying.
– Bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than their non-bullied counterparts.
– Bullying-related suicide can be triggered by any type of bullying including physical bullying, emotional bullying, cyberbullying, sexting, or circulating suggestive or nude photos or messages about a person.
These are staggering and frightening statistics and I don’t know if it’s getting any better with the vast number of ways to connect today and what children are exposed to at an early age -they’re exposed earlier every year it seems.
What are the signs to look for?
Signs to look for
Here are some warning signs you can look for in your child.
1. Depression, for example, sadness or withdrawal from friends and family, losing interest in favorite activities, or trouble sleeping or eating.
2. A new interest in death or dying.
3. Doing dangerous acts or reckless behavior, drug abuse, or self-injury.
4. Discarding his/her favorite things or saying goodbye to people.
5. Expressing that life is too hard.
6. Saying that everyone would be better without them.
Talk to your child if you see any of these signs. Reach out to a professional if that doesn’t work. I’ve cited mostly Canadian resources on this site but if you have any other resources let me know.
Canada Suicide Prevention Service
1-833-456-4566
I think all we can do as parents is to advocate for our children and find non-violent ways to show them what they need to do. Violence breeds violence.
NEXT – What if your boss is a bully or you experience bullying at work?