Chores
Do you let your child do chores? How early did you start? I had my son start at 7 with making his bed. That was a complete failure. No surprise. My mother tried for years to get me to make my bed and I got to university and still wouldn’t. It was only recently when I heard a speech by Admiral William H. McRaven that I appreciated the value of what my mother tried to teach me all those years ago. She is gone now but I am trying to teach my son the same principle.
Admiral McRaven’s principle is simple, when you make your bed it’s the first accomplishment for the day and even if you’ve had a bad day when you come home to a bed well made, you have accomplished something and you can go on to accomplish more. What I’ve just written doesn’t do justice to his speech but please listen at the link below.
Psychology Today cites a 2019 study in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics which showed that performing household chores was associated with improved social skills, academic abilities, and life satisfaction in young children.
Another large study of more than almost 10,000 children, who started chores in kindergarten had better social skills, academic abilities, and overall life satisfaction in 3rd grade and they performed better at math. Here are 5 things the article suggests can encourage your child to complete their chores.
1. Show them that you are doing chores as well. They need to see you completing the chores to model your behavior. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and my son unloads it when it’s done.
2. Give them choices for the chores they can do or let them choose when they will complete the chores. This will give them a sense of control. I have to admit, I haven’t done this but if you have feel free to reach out on the FB page (link below) and let me know how well it works.
3. Make chores part of their regular routine. I have my son do most of his chores on the weekend before he gets on the computer. So, there are no computer games between the time he gets up and when he finishes his chores.
4. Be as clear as possible about what he/she has to accomplish. Sometimes I write the list so he has a guide or I text it to him. The first few times it may not be completed to your standards but give them time. My son still simply pulls the comforter over the sheets and pillows and says the bed’s made. He tried, and that’s an A for effort.
5. This is a good follow-up to number 4 above. Praise their efforts don’t criticize what they’ve done.
I’ve increased the number of chores my son has to do as he grows older. He needs reminders but for the most part, he gets them done. I believe that it will prepare him for the world. And as I’ve said before, that’s our job. To prepare our children to succeed and survive in a world that can be harsh. It can start with just making the bed and you’ll be surprised what your child can accomplish if you let them.
One caveat, don’t pay them to do the chores. These are activities in their daily lives that, when they become adults, won’t be rewarded with tangible remuneration. Once they realize they won’t be paid going forward they may simply stop and all your hard work would be for nothing.