On February 22, 2023, I read my speech to a panel of judges not knowing by the next week I would be named the International Women’s Day speaker competition winner. I delivered my speech on March 8th and the response from friends and colleagues was overwhelming. The article below was published on the internal RBC website.
Mauricia’s story – The letters to my son that fueled my inner power
Published March 09, 2023
Congratulations to our 2023 IWD Global Speaker Competition Winner!
It’s only in the past year that Mauricia felt comfortable sharing her story and we feel so honoured to be bringing this to RBCnet. If someone else can find strength from this story, then sharing it will have achieved a higher purpose. This is a story about the health challenges that changed Mauricia’s outlook on life and how, through all of it, she managed to persevere in work and fulfil her dream of adopting a child. This is the story of how a small act, writing letters, helped to fuel that perseverance despite life’s obstacles.
Mauricia Ambrose
Program Manager, Technology & Operations
Toronto, ON
Lupus. Like many, I didn’t know what that was or entails. Until 30 years ago.
I was in my last year at university when I was diagnosed. Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can affect any part of the body and has no cure. I was blind-sided, terrified and could not imagine what my future would hold. My definition of myself at the time did not include a life-threatening illness. It’s not a story I have shared openly because I did not want to be judged, or even worse, pitied. However, in the past year because of the support I received from my RBC management team, I have felt empowered to share it in hopes that this can help others who are struggling with what they feel are insurmountable challenges.
My story – no journey – is one of resilience and discovery of my power within.
Through it all, I have been enjoying a fulfilling career. With my background in computer science, I worked for a technology company for 10 years, then joined RBC. I have taken on new roles and projects all within Technology & Operations that included retail, corporate banking and now finance IT. While I call Toronto my home, I was born in Trinidad, and it was there that an experience shaped my future.
I knew then that I wanted to adopt a child
Every day on my way to work I passed by an orphanage, and before long I started to volunteer there. I think that’s where the idea of adoption got rooted in my mind and heart. Whenever I walked in for my shift, there would be twenty or thirty toddlers running toward me shouting ‘Mommy.’ It was heartbreaking as I could not take them all home with me. I knew at some point I wanted to adopt a child.
As an act of faith and belief that I had blessings to share, I went through the needed paperwork and interviews, and in 2012, two years after submitting my application, I adopted my pride and joy – my son Louis, as a single mother.
Digging deep again for my inner power
Just three years later, I was told that both my kidneys were failing. Once again, my condition threatened to upend my life. I thought about what life would be like for my son once I started dialysis. I didn’t like what I was imagining.
I wanted him to know who I was and how much he is loved. So, I began writing letters to him – thoughts that popped into my head as I saw him blossom, and as my love for him grew. It turns out that this small act intended for him, benefitted me in a big way as it helped me to shift my mindset.
I realized that his presence in my life made me want to fight. Every letter gave me hope for the future. I decided I wasn’t going to let this illness prevent me from living my life and from giving my son the life he deserved. I continued to hold my own at work. I traveled every year and have created happy memories with my son.
If you want to see someone who also manifests true inner power, it’s Louis. He is the strongest and kindest person I know. I remember once, I was frustrated by some adult problem, and he said to me, in a voice that far surpassed his 3 years: “Mommy, what does it matter?” Words I live by every day!
“Don’t let your fear of asking for help or reaching out,
prevent you from finding your power within.”
Taking action
So, how do you come out the other side as a stronger person? This is what it looked like for me.
I took action.
I learned everything I could about my illness. I went to every doctor’s appointment – prepared with questions. I worked closely with every specialist assigned to me to understand what I needed to do to survive.
When I was diagnosed with kidney failure, I looked at the options I had for dialysis. I decided to dialyze at home so that I could take care of my son.
I moved closer to work. I found resources to help with babysitting.
I knew my illness wasn’t going away. It may have taken control of my body, but I decided to take control of my life.
The three S’s
I want to leave you with something that has guided my journey, in hopes that no matter your situation, it will help to guide yours. I call them “The Three S’s.”
“Find the power to change.”
The first S is STOP:
Stop and take stock of where you are in your current situation. Are you stuck in your career? Are you unable to prioritize your workload? Are you constantly spiraling out of control at home?
You need to give yourself time to understand what the problem or problems are.
Make a list of the most frustrating problems that you have, and prioritize that list. You don’t have to tackle every single problem all at once. Pick them one at a time.
The second S is SEARCH
Once you’ve identified the problem you want to solve, search for the knowledge and help you need.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. It took me many years to realize that I could ask for help without feeling powerless or ashamed. I stopped trying to be super mom and I’m now the best version of a mom I can be.
Find mentors, friends, family or professionals to help you. RBC has a multitude of avenues you can take to find training or financial support.
There is also the RBC Wellness site which offers wellness campaigns, support for exercise, diet, and your mental health. There are also webinars and podcasts. I personally have the Headspace app on my phone and get regular emails about meditation sessions.
Don’t let your fear of asking for help or reaching out, prevent you from finding your power within.
The third and last S is START.
Don’t procrastinate. Start working on the problem.
Don’t be afraid to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Speak to your manager about that job you want. I recall a VP saying that every job she got, she asked for.
Seek out a professional to help you deal with a difficult family or work situation.
Go to the RBC wellness site right now and start using the resources they have.
Redefining who you are and want to be
At key stages of my life, I have learned to redefine myself – not in spite of my illness, but because of it.
It’s never too late. I have transformed from a woman afraid to talk about my illness because of the perception of others, to one empowered to help others because of it.
Find the power to change, the power to act, the power to make choices. It’s in each and every one of us. Find the power within. It’s worth it.
As winner of the IWD Global Speaker Competition, Mauricia receives $3,000 from RBC, which she is donating to “World Vision Canada” where she has sponsored children in The Dominican Republic, Kenya and other African nations.