Who knows what they’re doing when it comes to parenting. It’s always trial and error, maybe more error and frustration, but we get it done. Sometimes we yell, cry even plead. It’s a roller coaster ride. Having kids is never easy but you can get through it.

I adopted my son as a single mother while in Lupus remission and with kidney failure (my kidneys were functioning but not very well). The adoption took two years which confirmed to me that it was meant to be. Within a year of the adoption, my kidneys failed. Yeah, that was a blow, but my new baby boy was the joy of my life and kept me moving forward.

When the doctor told me I had to start dialysis, I thought my life was over. I began writing daily letters to my son because I didn’t think I would be around long enough to see him grow up. It was a daily struggle trying to get dialysis in centre and taking care of a toddler. The letters I wrote were just an attempt at documenting our days and showing him how much he meant to me. Every letter ended with “I love you more than anything else in the world”. I said that to him every day and we still say it to each other even now. Fast forward 10 years and I have to admit there are still struggles but I’ve learned that I’m stronger than I think.

I have had so many days when I needed someone to tell me what to do next. There was no one. I had no family members close by and my friends didn’t have children. You’re thinking, why did she adopt a child on her own? At the time my lupus was in remission, my condition was stable and I really wanted to have children. So I made the big leap to submit my application. Little did I know that the universe would bring me this amazing little bundle of joy that grabbed my heart and held on tight. 

I have had many ups and downs but we have made it to each birthday unscathed (to a point). I have learned a lot about myself, my son, and what’s available to us when we need help. I hope to share that with you if you choose to read on. In the next few pages I have given my perspective on key areas, I think we all struggle with. I’ve also provided links to reference material from scientific and professional sources.
The areas of focus are:
– Tantrums
– Saying No
– Chores
– Communication
– Bullying and more as I grow and learn as a mother, a professional, woman of colour, and a woman in progress.

Please note that I am not a healthcare professional. I am a working mother who has been able to rise above adversity and raise a well-rounded young man. I am sure we will face other struggles as he develops into an adult and I feel ready to face them head-on with him. Check out my blog for some of our funny and sometimes heartbreaking stories.